Showing posts with label Nip/Tuck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nip/Tuck. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Love the plastics


I really do not have a problem with plastic surgery.

That is to say, I do not have a problem with reasonable plastic surgery. Some plastic surgery, like the ten surgeries that transformed beautiful Heidi Montag into Frankenheidi are excessive. Other crazies, like Jocelyn "cat woman" Wildenstein and poor Michael Jackson also took things too far. I may be strongly influenced by the two seasons of Nip/Tuck I watched, but I believe that plastic surgery can be perfectly fine if a few criteria are met.

First of all, the procedure must be a financially sound decision. Cosmetic surgery should not be pursued by someone who cannot afford it. If you cannot buy milk for your kids or a car to get to work, do not spend your saved up money on a nose job or bigger breasts. Furthermore, you should have a steady, good-paying job, money saved up for a rainy day, and practical things like a house, a car, and insurance before getting anything tucked or lifted.

Secondly, the plastic surgery must be relatively safe. Yes, there is always a risk, but let us be reasonable. If surgery poses a big health risk for you, do not do it. Ten procedures at once almost killed Heidi. Ideally, choose procedures with minimum anesthesia and minimum recovery time. No one should die trying to become more beautiful--regardless of how fat your stomach may be.

My third criteria may be the most important. You must genuinely want the procedure and find it difficult to be as happy without it. I have gotten into arguments with some of my friends who think that plastic surgery is simply vanity and only feeds our image conscious society. To a certain extent, I will admit that I agree with them. However, if someone hates their crooked nose or feels self-conscious of their uneven ears, they should stop complaining about it and fix it.

Ultimately, there is not much of a difference between plastic surgery and getting braces. No one thinks that braces are simply vanity and and should be avoided. Sometimes people get braces because eating would be difficult without them--in the same way, people get plastic surgery to repair burns or permit them to breath through their nose. However, it is more common for people to get braces for their crooked teeth and rhinoplasty for their crooked nose.

Of course, plastic surgery is a bit more extreme than getting your hair permed. However, a botox shot to the head is cheaper, quicker, and less complicated that years in braces. A little liposuction makes you look far better than buying hundreds of dollars of dresses ever could. When you meet my three criteria, plastic surgery is just another facet of the "looking nice" diamond.

We live in a superficial world where everyone is judged based on appearance. As a Christian, I am saddened by that fact, but do not react by becoming Amish. In fact, as a bit of a stylista, I like to wear what is trendy, spike my hair, and wear contacts. People everywhere dye their hair, dress up for work, and save up for the latest trends. Christians dress up for church each Sunday, acknowledging that their appearance says something about how they regard God.

To all you haters out there who still think all plastic surgeons should be put out of work, thank God that you have a reasonably symmetrical face and have the confidence to ignore your flawed features. Be thankful that you have people who love you despite your imperfect appearance, and parents who raised you to put your worth in more lasting things.

Not everyone has that privilege. That is why we have plastic surgery.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Never be old


Botox cannot solve the world's problems.

Having watched a few seasons of Nip/Tuck, I am fully aware of that. We are aging rapidly--fine lines turn to wrinkles, dark hair turns grey, and the world fades before our eyes. Time marches forward, dragging its hapless victims along as they scream, scream, scream and desperately apply moisturizer.

I don't want to age. In an ideal world, a vampire would come bite me, and I could go sparkle and find my Bella and live in Twilight land until Jesus Christ returns to take me home. I've mostly given up on this vampire idea--I'm pretty sure that real vampires are just creepy people who drink their friends' blood and call it supernatural.

Although I have resigned myself to the idea of aging and am even a little excited for those bus tours the elderly take, I will not submit to the idea of being old. Being old is the antithesis of everything I want to be. Old means tired, worn-out, and stuck in a rut. I want each day to be a fresh experience, filled with new faces, new friends, new food, new clothes, new challenges, and new cups of coffee.

If Dante is right about Hell, (and sometimes I think he might be) I would be stuck with Sisyphus, pushing the same old boulder up the hill and having it roll back on me for eternity. I cannot bear spending the rest of my life stuck beneath the clouds of the mundane and never again feeling the warm sun of ingenuity.

The truly old people are those who sit quietly in their rooms on Saturday night, who are satisfied with the three people they know, who cannot dream of anything past their nose, who have no curiosity for the unknown, who are afraid to take a stand or stick their necks out for what they believe. Quite frankly, "old people" dull me, and I would rather vomit than pass an hour trapped with them in their cage of blah.

Aging is inevitable. Never be old.