Vegetarian experiment

Veggie burgers are disgusting.

I have tried several different kinds, but none compare to the ground beef patty. Last fall, my friend Hannah Moffett and I challenged one other to be vegetarians for a semester. It is important to note that our vegetarianism was not based on personal conviction but simply an exercise in self-control. I love to set life goals for myself.

We made the rules for our vegetarianism relatively easy. As long as the food never had eyes, it was fine. This meant I could still eat cheese, milk, and eggs. I could have made it without ice cream and cheese omelets.

Although I sometimes complain about cafeteria food, Bon Apetit pleasantly surprised me. I regularly ate large meals of spinach salads, cheese pizza, French onion soup, hard boiled eggs, cereal, stir-fried vegetables with rice, or cheese lasagna. I regularly took a multi-vitamin and made sure I got protein daily. Men tend to have less issues with anemia, but I wanted to be safe.

I struggled with meat cravings. During brunch each Sunday, the bacon taunted me, and the sausage gave me sullen glares. One time I got pasta with red sauce, only to realize the sauce had bits of meat after taking my first bite. My mouth watered, and I struggled not to quickly scarf the whole plate. At odd times throughout the day, I found myself suddenly obsessing about meat. I felt like a crazy pregnant woman suddenly wanting ice cream with hot sauce.

Being a vegetarian for a month also made me aware of the plight of the veggie-lover. Although our school cafeteria takes care of its vegetarians, other places do not. I attended several catered luncheons where the vegetarian option was a sandwich with cucumber and tomato instead of meat. Gross. I felt guilty eating at friends' houses and having to refuse meat or pick it out of the entree.

Eating out was the worst. I love burgers, so whenever I eat out, I get a big, juicy mushroom swiss burger and then sink into a blissful meat coma. Vegetarianism forced me to order a lot of omelets, cheese quesadillas, and french fries. My family and friends usually stop at McDonald's when we travel, and during the past semester, I would get a large fries and a Diet Coke since my normal Double Cheeseburger and McChicken were off limits.

Despite my limitations, vegetarianism really was awesome. I now understand the sense of superiority vegetarians feel every time they refuse meat and their secret joy when others have to go out of their way to make a meat-free option for you. Vegans must feel even better--they cannot even eat dairy or eggs!

I also felt healthier as a vegetarian. My meals were filling, but I never felt stuffed. My thoughts were more lucid, my skin was clearer, and I did not gain more than three pounds despite skipping exercise for a semester.

Vegetarian life left me hyper-aware of much meat I used to eat. Now, I view each bite of meat as a special treat, and it only takes a piece of bacon or two to satisfy my cravings. Americans eat significantly more meat than they need to each day. Why are we surprised by our obesity?

I could not be a consistent vegetarian. However, maybe I will take more vegetarian vacations in the future, and one day find a veggie burger I like.

Let the fur fly

I never thought PETA and I would agree on anything.

Ideologically, I fall between a libertarian and a conservative. I grew up in northwest Iowa, hunting rabbits and squirrels with my dad, and eating a heavy diet of beef, pork, and chicken. During high school, I was one of those people who would have said, "PETA--oh you mean, People for the Eating of Tasty Animals!?"

However, many recent influences have made me sensitive to issues concerning the fur trade. One of these influences is my dear friend Denise. Denise is a sometimes vegan who passionately cares for animal welfare. She does not oppose meat in general, but just thinks that animals should be treated properly.

A PETA commercial featuring the voices of rockstar Pink as an alligator and English comedian Ricky Gervais as a rabbit also did a lot to change the way I think. In the commercial, a stylish couple walks into a fancy hall with an alligator-skin purse and a rabbit-fur coat. Just then, an alligator missing most of its skin and a rabbit missing its fur accost them, demanding their skin/fur. The part that really got me was when the woman says, "Hey, I paid a lot for this [purse]," and alligator responds, saying, "Well, actually, I paid a lot more."

Now, I know that animals cannot speak and do not have minds or souls like people. Furthermore, I know that God gave man dominion over creation. However, when God put man over creation, it was in the position of a steward instead of a conqueror. I highly doubt that God wanted Adam to kill a bunch of dinosaurs to make dinosaur clutches and shoes for Eve. God Himself did not even use animal fur until after the Fall, and those fur garments are marks of the fall, not the glamorous life of paradise.

While animals do not have the same sentience as people, they can feel pain and suffer. Remember in the book Where the Red Fern Grows when the dog Old Dan dies and then Little Ann dies of grief-induced starvation just a few days later? Tortured animals scream and abandoned dogs whimper. How heartless to cause any creature unnecessary pain.

The fur trade causes unnecessary pain on an epic scale. No one needs fur. Human beings have advanced to a point where we can easily create beautiful synthetic fur. Furthermore, we no longer ride around in buggies or trek through frozen fields, and thus do not need the added protection. Is it is really fashionable to wear parts of a dead thing on your body? That is a little too Hannibal Lector for me.

I am not going to argue against hunting or fishing--in fact, I want to affirm them as part of man's stewardship. However, hunters need to eat what they kill. This is also the only acceptable situation were animal fur should be used. Hunters should be more like the legendary Native Americans who used every part of the buffalo. I do not know if that actually happened, but it is a nice story.

While I do think that PETA is insane, they have some good things to say. Don't let their crazy get in the way of you listening.