Love the plastics

I really do not have a problem with plastic surgery.

That is to say, I do not have a problem with reasonable plastic surgery. Some plastic surgery, like the ten surgeries that transformed beautiful Heidi Montag into Frankenheidi are excessive. Other crazies, like Jocelyn "cat woman" Wildenstein and poor Michael Jackson also took things too far. I may be strongly influenced by the two seasons of Nip/Tuck I watched, but I believe that plastic surgery can be perfectly fine if a few criteria are met.

First of all, the procedure must be a financially sound decision. Cosmetic surgery should not be pursued by someone who cannot afford it. If you cannot buy milk for your kids or a car to get to work, do not spend your saved up money on a nose job or bigger breasts. Furthermore, you should have a steady, good-paying job, money saved up for a rainy day, and practical things like a house, a car, and insurance before getting anything tucked or lifted.

Secondly, the plastic surgery must be relatively safe. Yes, there is always a risk, but let us be reasonable. If surgery poses a big health risk for you, do not do it. Ten procedures at once almost killed Heidi. Ideally, choose procedures with minimum anesthesia and minimum recovery time. No one should die trying to become more beautiful--regardless of how fat your stomach may be.

My third criteria may be the most important. You must genuinely want the procedure and find it difficult to be as happy without it. I have gotten into arguments with some of my friends who think that plastic surgery is simply vanity and only feeds our image conscious society. To a certain extent, I will admit that I agree with them. However, if someone hates their crooked nose or feels self-conscious of their uneven ears, they should stop complaining about it and fix it.

Ultimately, there is not much of a difference between plastic surgery and getting braces. No one thinks that braces are simply vanity and and should be avoided. Sometimes people get braces because eating would be difficult without them--in the same way, people get plastic surgery to repair burns or permit them to breath through their nose. However, it is more common for people to get braces for their crooked teeth and rhinoplasty for their crooked nose.

Of course, plastic surgery is a bit more extreme than getting your hair permed. However, a botox shot to the head is cheaper, quicker, and less complicated that years in braces. A little liposuction makes you look far better than buying hundreds of dollars of dresses ever could. When you meet my three criteria, plastic surgery is just another facet of the "looking nice" diamond.

We live in a superficial world where everyone is judged based on appearance. As a Christian, I am saddened by that fact, but do not react by becoming Amish. In fact, as a bit of a stylista, I like to wear what is trendy, spike my hair, and wear contacts. People everywhere dye their hair, dress up for work, and save up for the latest trends. Christians dress up for church each Sunday, acknowledging that their appearance says something about how they regard God.

To all you haters out there who still think all plastic surgeons should be put out of work, thank God that you have a reasonably symmetrical face and have the confidence to ignore your flawed features. Be thankful that you have people who love you despite your imperfect appearance, and parents who raised you to put your worth in more lasting things.

Not everyone has that privilege. That is why we have plastic surgery.

Vegetarian experiment

Veggie burgers are disgusting.

I have tried several different kinds, but none compare to the ground beef patty. Last fall, my friend Hannah Moffett and I challenged one other to be vegetarians for a semester. It is important to note that our vegetarianism was not based on personal conviction but simply an exercise in self-control. I love to set life goals for myself.

We made the rules for our vegetarianism relatively easy. As long as the food never had eyes, it was fine. This meant I could still eat cheese, milk, and eggs. I could have made it without ice cream and cheese omelets.

Although I sometimes complain about cafeteria food, Bon Apetit pleasantly surprised me. I regularly ate large meals of spinach salads, cheese pizza, French onion soup, hard boiled eggs, cereal, stir-fried vegetables with rice, or cheese lasagna. I regularly took a multi-vitamin and made sure I got protein daily. Men tend to have less issues with anemia, but I wanted to be safe.

I struggled with meat cravings. During brunch each Sunday, the bacon taunted me, and the sausage gave me sullen glares. One time I got pasta with red sauce, only to realize the sauce had bits of meat after taking my first bite. My mouth watered, and I struggled not to quickly scarf the whole plate. At odd times throughout the day, I found myself suddenly obsessing about meat. I felt like a crazy pregnant woman suddenly wanting ice cream with hot sauce.

Being a vegetarian for a month also made me aware of the plight of the veggie-lover. Although our school cafeteria takes care of its vegetarians, other places do not. I attended several catered luncheons where the vegetarian option was a sandwich with cucumber and tomato instead of meat. Gross. I felt guilty eating at friends' houses and having to refuse meat or pick it out of the entree.

Eating out was the worst. I love burgers, so whenever I eat out, I get a big, juicy mushroom swiss burger and then sink into a blissful meat coma. Vegetarianism forced me to order a lot of omelets, cheese quesadillas, and french fries. My family and friends usually stop at McDonald's when we travel, and during the past semester, I would get a large fries and a Diet Coke since my normal Double Cheeseburger and McChicken were off limits.

Despite my limitations, vegetarianism really was awesome. I now understand the sense of superiority vegetarians feel every time they refuse meat and their secret joy when others have to go out of their way to make a meat-free option for you. Vegans must feel even better--they cannot even eat dairy or eggs!

I also felt healthier as a vegetarian. My meals were filling, but I never felt stuffed. My thoughts were more lucid, my skin was clearer, and I did not gain more than three pounds despite skipping exercise for a semester.

Vegetarian life left me hyper-aware of much meat I used to eat. Now, I view each bite of meat as a special treat, and it only takes a piece of bacon or two to satisfy my cravings. Americans eat significantly more meat than they need to each day. Why are we surprised by our obesity?

I could not be a consistent vegetarian. However, maybe I will take more vegetarian vacations in the future, and one day find a veggie burger I like.